She Runs It “Working Mother of the Year” Suzie Bao Shares how Companies can Best Support WOrking Mothers
Suzie Bao, Group Account Director/Culture & Inclusion at Quigley-Simpson, was honored today as a “Working Mother of the Year” by She Runs It. The organization—established in 1912 as the League of Advertising Women—works to pave the way for more women to lead in marketing, media, and tech.
Each year, She Runs It celebrates professionals with this prestigious award, recognizing women who navigate the challenges of being moms, co-workers, and mentors at the same time. The organization describes the winners as “resourceful and tenacious working warriors [who] artfully juggle the complex responsibilities of kids, business, leadership, and colleague coaching.”
Suzie Bao certainly fits this description—she is a marketing leader, creative problem-solver, and client whisperer, handling top brands in financial services, telecom, automotive, technology, and entertainment categories.
She is also an expert and sought-after speaker on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion efforts. In addition to helping lead Culture & Inclusion initiatives at Quigley-Simpson, she is an Advisory Board Member for Asians in Advertising, a non-profit organization that aims to further the AAPI community.
As a divorced mom of teenage boys, Suzie won in the “Established Mom” category designed for working moms with kids 7 to 17 who have attained significant success in both family and career. These women are chosen because they “thrive on their busy lives” and have been positive influences at home and work.
Suzie wrote this op-ed for the Continuum, explaining what it was like to be a working mother, especially early in her career.
A co-worker once said to me, “I forgot you had kids.” If I’m being honest, it stabbed me in the heart a bit. As a divorced mom of two boys, my kids are the world to me, but I have deliberately tried to keep them out of the workplace because I know what being dubbed a “working mom” can do to your career.
I’m remembering this story now because I’m being honored by the She Runs It organization as Working Mother of the Year in the established mom category (my kids are now 14 and 17, so my motherhood is indeed well-established).
I know the person who said this meant it as a compliment, and I know she was just reflecting on the way I had intended to portray myself professionally. Still, just thinking about it triggers me to this day, and I’m left wondering why—in 2024—it’s still hard for so many women to know how to balance career and motherhood.
At the beginning of my career, long before I was a mother, I had worked for two women who were moms. They had struck an agreement with our employer that limited their hours, which meant they only worked 3 or 4 days each week and left at 5 pm. (I realize now how rare such an agreement is). Good for them, bad for the rest of the team. The rest of the team, me included, had to work around their limited hours and spend time getting them up to speed on the days they were in the office. Their shorter hours meant longer hours for us, which naturally caused resentment. I remember thinking I would not do that to my teams when I became a mother.
“Despite my stated intention for nothing to change when I had kids, there was an obvious shift.”
Prior to motherhood, I was fiercely ambitious and furiously climbing the ladder. I was often the youngest person in the room, full of senior team members. Despite my stated intention for nothing to change when I had kids, there was an obvious shift. It wasn’t about how hard I worked but how people saw me.
My career stagnated, and I was stuck at the mid-level manager level for a decade. I was laid off eight months pregnant with my second child, only to be called back into the big boss’s office a few weeks later. I realize now that he was making sure I didn’t sue for pregnancy discrimination, but at the time, I just nodded as he told me that the decision wasn’t personal and that, in the end, it would be good for me because I’d have time to be a homemaker. Another time, a media rep asked if I knew anyone who might be good for a role on his team. I told him I was interested, but he shut me down because the role required a bit of travel, and he knew I had young kids. He didn’t ask if I could handle travel; he just assumed I couldn’t because I was a mom.
A similar thing happened in a job interview where I stupidly broke the unspoken rule that you never discuss religion, politics, or kids when trying to get a job. The interview was going well, and we were winding down with some casual conversation. He steered the conversation to what we liked to do in our spare time. I knew this was a tactic to get me to divulge something personal, but I did it anyhow. I’d been told that he was a family man, and he’d mentioned his family during the interview. So, I broke the rule and told him that I spend much of my spare time going to my kids’ extracurricular activities. The tone shifted, and he asked me if it would be a problem for me to take clients out to dinner during the week. Naturally, I said of course not, and pointed out that it hadn’t been an issue in the past. Still, I didn’t get the job.
“Employers need to understand just how amazing moms really are. We can handle multiple tasks at once because we have to (especially if we have multiple children).”
My intention in telling these stories is not to call out those who have wronged me but to tell other working moms that they’re not alone and to point out that we need systematic change in our workplaces.
Men have children, too, but doing so does not impact their careers in the same way. I highly doubt that my interviewer would have asked a male candidate with children if he’d be available for evening dinners. It would be assumed that he had a wife at home who had childcare covered. I remember talking to a colleague who was a new father. He was a prominent creative director, and he told me that as soon as he put his daughter’s baby picture up on his desk, coworkers changed their attitudes. They asked him for less. But it was different than what a working mom would have faced because it didn’t negatively impact his career. In fact, when he would have to leave early or miss work events for kid-related reasons, coworkers and even supervisors thought it was cute and praised him for being such a good and involved dad.
He actually called to congratulate me on my award, and I once again thought about how disparate our working parenthood paths were. I never put pictures of my sons up in my office. I’d promised I wouldn’t let motherhood impact my coworkers, and I didn’t. I very seldom take off because of my kids. I don’t call in sick because my kids are sick. If I have to leave early to get kids to an activity, I make sure it’s my issue to work out, not my team’s issue. (I realize, by the way, that as much as this was an intentional decision, it also reflects my privilege. Not all working moms have the resources or support they need to do this.)
Which brings us back to “I forgot you had kids.” That was the moment when I questioned whether I’d done it all wrong and hoped that other working moms wouldn’t feel compelled to put so much of a wall between their personal lives and their work.
Over the years, I have supervised a number of working mothers, and I have tried to be flexible and understanding. In my previous role, I interviewed one woman who was looking to switch teams. I was skeptical because she’d gotten a bad performance review from her (male) supervisor. He said she was falling short and not working as hard as she had before kids. I liked her and took a chance despite the review. I quickly realized that she’d never been the problem. It was her supervisor’s demands that were the issue. She worked super hard, and the flexibility she occasionally needed during the day was more than made up for by her willingness to finish work at midnight.
“With a little bit of grace, working moms can handle multiple projects, lead complex organizations, and be brilliant at negotiation.”
Employers need to understand just how amazing moms really are. We can handle multiple tasks at once because we have to (especially if we have multiple children). We are used to leading a complex organization with different personalities, schedules, likes/dislikes, and priorities. We are excellent negotiators. (What working mom hasn’t been reminded of her toddler at least once when negotiating with a colleague or, worse, a supervisor?) We moms spend our days resolving conflicts and satisfying the world’s most difficult clients.
I am so very grateful for the recognition of She Runs It and honored to be considered a mom role model, but I think it’s time for us to shift our vision of what a working mom looks like and what she can do.
For employers and hiring managers, this means not discriminating against moms, just like you wouldn’t discriminate based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or disability. Moreover, if the working moms in your organizations need a little flexibility, allow them that without judgment or recrimination, and don’t make them sacrifice their opportunities for advancement. With a little bit of grace, working moms can handle multiple projects, lead complex organizations, and be brilliant at negotiation.
For working moms, this means trying to find balance. You don’t have to pretend you don’t have children at work, and you also don’t have to be a supermom at home who always packs a hot lunch and never misses a classroom Valentine’s Day party. Instead, just be the unicorn in your world. You have nothing to prove to anyone, so go be brilliant and inspirational at work and at home.
Also, remember this one piece of advice whether you’re at work or home. “No” is a complete sentence.
February 29, 2024
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